Episode 120: The Art of Letting Go

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she's still

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laughing that's so [Music]

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funny welcome to five lemons lab we're the real stuff the lemons making

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lemonade so Puck her up because we're going to be discussing our life's lessons and the nitty-gritty details of

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our spiritual Journeys [Music]

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hey y'all I'm Amanda and I'm Drusilla I'm Melissa hello this is

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Morgan and I'm Penny Welcome to our podcast

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today oh my goodness welcome back to five limons laughing we're just three

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lemons today uh Drusilla and Amanda can't be with us today so the three of

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us are going to try to hold down the fort thanks for being with us today we're talking about the Art of Letting

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Go so are you holding on too tight are you trying to force life to go your way

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is there more freedom in letting go that's what we're talking about today the balance between surrender and

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control so what if releasing your grip could actually bring more peace than holding on ever did so let's dive in

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ladies so who here has ever tried to surrender something to your higher self

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or to God or the universe but you kept checking back every 10 minutes just to see if it's been handled yet yeah I have

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it takes practice not to do that I think that's like a natural thing you know most of us do I do it absolutely and I'm

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really trying to get myself not to do it um and I think that I think I have been

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really doing it a lot this week um because I do run a small company and it's really hard to make changes and

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make the right decisions and um balance everything that's going

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on and not feel like you have to be in control so how how do I do this how do I

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how do I um you know surrender some of it I I just have to keep reminding

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myself over and over but I go back and check check numbers check my employees

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check my inventory over and over so um yeah I'd love some help on how to let it

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go I I know that when I sit in Stillness when I get quiet when I get peaceful when I do my spiritual practices I can

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um I can calm myself and write myself but it is kind of a like how can I

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completely surrender it that's the million-dollar question right

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yeah or or however many millions your company is worth

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yeah yeah that's a that's that's a really good question I've been uh

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working on sorting that out in my own head as a business owner as well because I would

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prefer to be all spiritual all the time and and then you know I'm the boss

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and I you know I was just gonna say and it's my money that's on the

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line are you really the boss buny

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um I do own the company well what if God is the boss oh

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God yeah yeah I forget that all the time

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yep well let me ask you about this is there any area in your life where you

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have been successful at giving up control of a situation yes and in fact recently I've

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been really successful at giving up some parts of control of my company and it

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worked out really great and then I I do that I went back and grabbed it all

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again um we we know someone um a teacher of ours Jennifer Hadley who says she

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puts her problems on the Altar and then the the challenge is leaving them there

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and not going and getting them again and that's what I feel like I've done is I've gone and I had this great

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experience where I let a lot go and our income went up and and um then you know

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there's always little bump in the road and challenges and like pivoting and rearranging how you do things and then I

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tend to like gather it all back up so yes I have had um that

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experience and I also think that I get really down on myself when I can't can like can't be perfect with that

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too like like spiritual shaming yes yeah

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yeah I do that too like all this work that I've done and I am not perfect at it yet yeah

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that's why it's a spiritual practice yes yeah I do have to say though this week um this weekend actually it was this

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weekend both times was this weekend I um I decided that I was just going to be

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happy with whatever was going on and I was I you know I tend to make myself really busy and I've got a lot to get

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done and I needed to pick my daughter and her husband up at the airport and so I had like three or four things to do on

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my way there and the joke with me is that I'm One Stop Penny but it's really

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like 10 stops Penny and it's probably not a very kind joke but um and so and

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I'm always late for picking people up at the airport because I'm doing so much right so I I

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um as I was driving to San Jose I had to go to the San Francisco Airport which is another you know almost hour down the

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road I um I had these things that I wanted to get done in San Jose before before I left for San Francisco and I

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was driving along and I had my whole plan and I got this intuitive hit no go to Whole Foods first and get that done

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it's right it's right on the way go do that and then I'm driving to the next stop and didn't get anything so I went

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and did that and it was very quick I I parked in like two minute parking and got in and out within five minutes and

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that was great so then I was on for the the last task I needed to do and I knew it was going to take the most time and

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if I did that I would be late for San Francisco to pick them up and I'm driving down the road thinking oh

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should I just put it off should I just go to San Francisco I think you should probably go to San Francisco Penny and then I got the hit just go to San

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Francisco what I had to do was at the airport anyway um renew my TSA pre-check and um I got the hit just why don't you

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just do it at the San Francisco Airport Penny you have to be there anyway and I was I didn't even consider that honestly

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and I knew I was going to the San Francisco Airport how funny is that I thought I had to stop at the San Jose Airport and do it because I'm very familiar with at that airport but no I

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decided I and then I did it and I was there and ready to go when they were ready when they had their luggage so it

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was just really I don't know if that's letting go but I yeah it is Letting Go I was letting go of how I thought that all

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these tasks should be done and they got done and it was um and I just listened

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for the guidance that's my that's my goal this year is to listen to the guidance more and then take action on it

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versus going ah you don't know what you're talking about you know you gave

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me answer oh tell me yeah my like I just went ah it's the it's the outcome that

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I'm attached to and the out like I have to do X Y and Z because I have to have

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this outcome that I've you know put everything on the line for so

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um I think when I stay in the present and I just kind of like do the task ahead of me I don't get so

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um caught up in having to control everything because I don't have to control everything to get to a certain

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outcome I can let it unfold so um and I think that's what's been really um hard

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for me just creating a lot of anxiety for me in my company right now is that I

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am not letting things unfold I am I have a date I'm moving out of the country and so everything's now like I got her get

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her all done you know so um yeah hope that what if you didn't

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get it all done before you moved right nothing I could do it when I'm over there yeah yeah yeah that's easy totally

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and I totally relate to that because when we moved to Costa Rica and then we moved back to Costa Rica had a super

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long to-do list and it's like the to-do list is super long but it

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doesn't have to be stressful like why do we put that extra burden of it's going to be hard it's going to be stressful it

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all falls on me and what what I'm noticing is that sometimes I mean I am a to-do list maker some people don't think

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that's very spiritual but it works for my personality type it's kind of necessary for my personality but what I

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notice is that I still like check in with like what I'm feeling energetically

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aligned with at the moment so if I have four or five things on my to-do list for the day I'll carry forward endlessly an

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item if I'm not feeling aligned for it on that day and then some days it gets crossed off the list anyway because John

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Mark takes care of it or somebody else takes care of it I mean that happened today um John Mark took I I have some of

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his music stuff on on my to-do list too and he took care of something that I've been carrying forward for a few weeks um

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so yeah it's like we life we can make it stressful if we want to yes we can just

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do the next thing that we are energetically aligned with and trust those little hits that you get like

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Penny said and you also said something about like an expectation of this is

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going to be hard this is going to be you know like I'm really trying to stay out of that with our move like and just know

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it it's all going to come together and to not dwell in that place of this is

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this is going to be hard yeah I can I remember the very first

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year that um it would have been Morgan and I uh were the facilitators of our

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Mastery Circle in masterful living with Jennifer Hadley and I think it was before you joined us Melissa but Amanda

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I would constantly say something oh this is really hard or something this and Amanda said just say it's with

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everything is going to happen with ease and Grace and you have all the time you need to get it done and I just went oh

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wow thank you for that Amanda and it stuck with me I mean that was five years ago and that has always stuck with me I

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don't always remember it but it has stuck with me you know things can easy can be easy and I have all the time

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cuz you know times's not real anyway put in air quotes yeah yeah well and when

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and you alluded to this earlier Melissa but I'm just going to spell it out in KN one certain terms when we're trying to

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control an outcome we're attaching to an outcome and all attachment causes

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suffering so you know one one simple thing that I like that I think I learned from also

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from Jennifer Hadley the course of Miracles teacher that we've all studied with is you know try praying for this or

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something better like have an outcome in mind that you'd like have this on my

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computer read it Penny what does it say this or something better I have it right on my computer yeah it's one of my

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little Post-its I guess I'll use that as one of our Post-its today yeah

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absolutely sorry Morgan I I couldn't help it I know I love that I love the synchronicity that that is one that

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stood out for you too I mean it's just um like and and another thing that we've

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learned over the years is like definitely have a vision of what you'd like to experience definitely make

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that vision board write out those goals and then let them go place them on the

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altar like it's the grasping because like what you're really trying to get

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when you when you have a vision or you have a goal is the feeling underneath it so if you attach to the vision unfolding

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EX actly as you have it in your mind then you just you're pinching off and you know an infinite number of possible

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outcomes that could be the this or something better yeah and that rigid attachment it's like that magnetic thing

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that happens when magnets push each other away instead of like locking into place like so and that's what I I was

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thinking actually on my walk this morning I was like the more I orchestrate everything and attach myself

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to this outcome that I want it's so it's just so playing small because I and it

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feels so much like I'm Contracting and constricting rather than like opening up

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and allowing so I I do know that you can I can still take like one foot one step

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next one step next and still be allowing for something better this or something better it's a hard well okay I won't say

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that it's way to catch yourself Melissa whenever you hear the word hard what word are you GNA substitute for it

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um easy you mean the button seras button do you have one of the Staples easy

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buttons no do they still yeah I think so yeah so um yes this could actually be

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easy if I'm not just holding on and um and it it does feel like kinking a

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hose doesn't allow the flow or other ideas or greater ideas to come

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through yeah I you know I think it's probably a good idea just to Define some of the the words that we're saying here

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like control surrender letting go and the illusion of control so control is when we have the belief that we must

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manage fix or Force outcomes to feel secure to feel successful or worthy or

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that you can easily move to Greece once you have all this stuff done you know it it it stems from Fear it really does and

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what is the whole purpose of us all being together is to operate from a

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place of love and that's where surrender comes in because when we surrender it's that willingness to release attachment

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to the outcomes like when I was going to the airport I had all these things I needed to get done because it was so

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important and I surrendered to the fact that okay maybe I'm gonna have to take some of them off my plate and then Boop

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higher power popped in and said no you can do it all penny you can do it just go to the San Francisco Airport you know

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so if I can release the attachment to how I think that the outcomes should be that's surrender and just um know that

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my higher power the universe God whatever you want to call it is really

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um the greater wisdom that's going to unfold it's going to unfold the way it's supposed to unfold at that point and and

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um you know the interesting thing is that um the definition that we looked up it says surrender isn't passive it's an

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active choice to let go of struggle and allow flow so it's an active Choice I'm

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G to just say that again it's an active choice to let go of struggle and allow flow love

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yeah yeah and then there's letting go and the illusion of control so letting go is just really the practice of

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releasing what we cannot change or force or Force into being so we just let it go

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it invites the Peace by shifting us well that makes from external David Hawkins

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power versus force and letting go like those are a lot of his words if you want us if you want to read more about well

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how the heck do I do this you could you could dive into one of David hain's books but it still feels a little bit of

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an abstract concept like I mean do you just say okay I'm letting this go like

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and surrender you say it's active but like what does that look like you know what I'm saying I agree with you that

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it's active but like it still feels ambiguous like how do I Surrender it how do I practice letting

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go well I think that what I did on Saturday is the how I just said okay

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these are my three things I want to get done and and and I need to be to the airport by

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2:00 and I didn't leave the house till 12:30 and it was an hour over an hour drive so I mean I just I so for me it

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was just making the decision you know and I was just gonna say to turn my will and my life over to

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the care of my higher power but I really didn't but I kind of did halfways I

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would say I did but I think then eventually I fully did because I was willing I was able to hear that still Small Voice that said hey just do it at

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this San Francisco Airport and I would have I never heard that I never even thought of it yeah and so um I don't

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know did that answer the question Morgan I think so and I I thought about I thought about Linda stto one of our dear

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friends stories that she has shared with us before about one time she had a lot of stuff going on in her personal life

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maybe like sick and ailing parents so partner and um all of that you know

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combined to also create some Financial strain and then her water heater went out and she was you know caretaking for

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several loved ones and she said that she just she just said like her prayer was

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something like I just can't deal with this I'm giving this to you Holy Spirit and it was kind of said in a complete

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state of just like I give up but she did it she was like I'm just not dealing with this I'm letting you deal with this

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and the next day one of her friends called her out of the blue and said we have a hot water heater that's been

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sitting on our porch for several months we accidentally ordered the wrong size we can't return it something told me to

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check in with you and see if you would like it and within like a matter of days she had a new free water heater that was

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like the exact thing that she needed so um that is an that's another demonstration of how that what that

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looks what that can look like and how to practice it it can be a despairing giving up prayer to the universe like

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you got to deal with this for me because I can't I don't even know how well and I know that um I love that story by the

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way Morgan and um that's a miracle and that happens all the time right when you let go and um I do know that when I get

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very quiet and sit in Stillness and peace that um that's when ideas like the

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best ideas come to me and um things I never thought of when I'm like trying to

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figure it all out so um just like of course Miracles lesson 34 says I could

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see peace instead of this one of my favorites yes and I have been saying that today um because I know that's true

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and I know that um it I don't have to be in conflict and I also know that uh when

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I seek peace over everything else then that does open up every part of me for

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New Direction so um maybe this is all about

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reminding myself of what I already know and yes and there's a lot of fear I

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have so I think that is feeding well that's been a pattern of a habit of mine

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is having fear and then needing control to make the fear go away so so

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what's the fear does that work no it doesn't work just creates more and the fear is

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um it's just that be a bag lady on the street

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yeah yeah right I don't go that far but it is close to that it's like oh everything's gonna fall apart um and

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what happens if it did I would just reinvent myself I guess

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I would I'm already doing that and I'm doing something different I think it's really for me a lot of habit a lot of

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when I like the world starts moving under my feet um I I go into what I've

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always thought my has always thought this is what I do to

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get stabilized again if a happens then B kicks in yes you find yourself catching

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and interrupting that pattern more quickly than you used to yeah I think that is probably the title of this

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podcast The Art of Letting Go yes yes and it's we we talk about this a

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lot it comes quicker now so instead of like months and weeks of sitting in this

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kind of yucky stuff it's just been a couple days yeah yeah exactly well and

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so let's let's look at another example because I was just thinking like what does Greece represent to

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you um well a dream that I've always had of living abroad um so it is a bit of

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following my heart and following my dreams and um a lot of freedom for I

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know I have freedom already um but a lot of of free time let's say to do what I

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really want to do um and I have that in progress um so and part of the stuff

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with my company is I'm trying to get things taken care of so it is off my plate so I can't go and do the stuff

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that I really want to right right and I was just thinking about how a couple of weeks ago out of the blue your friend

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invited you for an all expenses paid trip to Dubai yeah so if we are

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controlling and forcing then we're not open and receptive to those types of

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opportunities so I've heard you say